Warning: Readers may find some of the content disturbing.
PORTSMOUTH, OH – A novice pro-choice group, Planned Pethood, promises that access to legal puppy abortions across the nation will prevent animal cruelty for unwanted pooches; cut down on the stray dog population; and insure that every puppy is a wanted puppy.
The animal abortion lobbyists of Planned Pethood (AALPP) are recruiting members, sponsors, and communicating with elected officials in order to rally support for taxpayers to foot the bill for all planned puppy abortion procedures.
Moreover, members of AALPP are calling upon Congress to codify a “right” to puppy abortion in federal law. “Puppy abortion is healthcare,” the slogan for the growing movement, is being chanted throughout the Profuse Political Pet Party (PPPP).
The National Puppy Abortion Federation (NPAF) will be accepting donations and funds in the future.
A special campaign will be launched for human owners of pregnant dogs as well as for the pregnant female dogs. Male dogs are excluded in the decision-making process of puppy abortions.
Every dog owner has their own reasons for both unplanned and planned puppy abortions. Perhaps, the pet owner was irresponsible and did not seek a method of birth control for her/his female dog. Perhaps, the pet owner decided against being a caretaker of a litter of puppies toward the end of the canine’s pregnancy. Or after the puppies were born, the pet owner decided to terminate their lives for whatever reason. Pet owners that abort puppies, often, do not consider adoption as an option.
Planned Pethood centers will help any pet owner terminate the litter of her/his dog in a non-judgmental and supportive way. Furthermore, we will do our best to make sure the state and federal government pays for all procedures.
What is the Abortion Puppy Pill?
The Abortion Puppy Pill, a powerful drug, has multiple harmful side effects, but no matter.
According to the Federal Puppy Drug Administration (FPDA) the Abortion Puppy Pill has not passed strict testing standards, but no matter.
What is Late-Term Puppy Abortion?
When pet owners end the lives of the litter, the pregnant dog may undergo a surgical puppy abortion called dilation and evacuation (D&E).
Particularly gruesome surgical techniques involve crushing, dismemberment and removal of a puppy fetal body. In some cases, especially when the puppy fetus is past the stage of viability, the puppy abortion may involve administration of a lethal injection into the fetal puppy heart in utero to ensure that the puppy fetus is not pulled out alive or with the ability to survive.
However, Planned Pethood works hard to make sure no puppy in the litter survives a botched puppy abortion.
What Is Partial-Birth Puppy Abortion?
In a partial-birth puppy abortion, the pet abortionist (PA) begins delivering the puppy but stops partway. Holding half of the puppy’s body still inside the mother dog’s body, the PA then kills the puppy by jamming scissors into his/her neck.
What is the Puppicide?
Planned Pethood is working on new federal legislation that would allow a pet owner to kill his/her litter of puppies within 7 days after birth.
Beware of Puppy Crisis Pregnancy Centers
Beware of pet health care clinics that want you to considering saving the lives of your pregnant dog’s puppies. They value animal offspring and they truly love fuzzy and cuddly puppets. Well, let’s be honest – they care deeply about all puppies. But, medical professionals can’t make lots of money when they esteem canine life. And nobody should pressure you about your dog’s pregnancy – except the experts at Planned Pethood staff.
STOP READING. Everything I just penned is a spoof about puppies. I don’t know anything about dog abortions. However, please substitute the word “baby” for the word “puppy.”
REFLECT. What’s your reaction?
The column isn’t about abortions for dogs – it’s about abortions for humans.
The following information is accurate.
Human Baby Abortions
Dr. Anthony Levatino, a practicing obstetrician-gynecologist who performed over 1,200 abortions before he became pro-life, explains the horrifying procedure in a video for pro-life organization Live Action.
- WATCH: Here’s What A Late-Term Abortion Procedure Actually Looks Like. It’s Horrifying.
- Related: Here’s What 375 Women Told The Supreme Court About The Harms Of Late-Term Abortion
- Related: Pro-Life Pregnancy Centers Helped 2 Million People, Provided $266 Million to Help Women. In Just One Year.
Editors Note: This column is a creative and interesting parody of sorts for the purpose of evoking critical thinking and reflection by the reader on the serious issue of abortion.