Important: This story is categorized as an opinion piece. This means it bypasses ordinary fact checking and is likely based entirely on the authors opinion. Please see disclosure in author bio below story.

Op-Ed: Florida Man Wants to Mock Liberty, Freedom, & Religion with a 6-Foot Pink Penis Statue in Public Places

Can you envision a 300-pound statue of a 6-foot-high pink penis on display in a public park at Fort Lauderdale’s famed corner at Las Olas and A1A? Image: GoFundMe

PORTSMOUTH, OH – Folks, this story is real – no kidding. A Florida buffoon, calling himself an activist, has applied to display a giant penis sculpture in nine Florida cities to mark the Festival of the Steel Phallus, a fertility celebration in Japan’s Shinto religion. “The festival, which happens to be popular with LGBTQ communities, is held on the first Sunday of April at the Kanayama Shrine.” 

Why would Timothy “Chaz” Stevens, a grown man, engage in such immature behavior? 

His ESADoggy business is located in Boca Raton, according to his website. “Get your perfect psychiatric service dog letter now.” 

Folks, I promise I am not making this up. This is me cringing and laughing simultaneously.  

“Can you envision a 300-pound statue of a 6-foot-high pink penis on display in a public park at Fort Lauderdale’s famed corner at Las Olas and A1A?” That’s the question 58 year-old Stevens asks on his GoFundMe page.  

McNuttypants set up a GoFundMe page with “a goal of $25,000 to help him raise money for the pricey penis statues.”  

His goal shot up to $250,000 to help raise money for a possible lawsuit against Deerfield Beach and other cities that deny his request. 

So, Stevens went fishing for other buffoons and their money. As of this column, he has raised $320. And his goal is now $500,000.  

“The statues don’t come cheap, Stevens says. Each one will cost around $8,000, including the cross-country shipping from the manufacturer in Ogden, Utah.” 

$8,000. could sure help homeless families in Florida. But obviously, Stevens finds his lewd, crude, and rude penis statue more important.  

Stevens (born August 31, 1964) is an American political activist, artist, software developer, and entrepreneur, in Florida. He is active in local politics in Broward County, and has gained national notoriety for his colorful statewide and national advocacy for the separation of church and state. 

Does Stevens even know the phrase “separation of church and state” appears nowhere in the U.S. Constitution. Duh.  

Of course, Mayor Dean Trantalis of Fort Lauderdale is against the object of obscenity. “Fort Lauderdale embraces diversity, but at some point we need to draw a line between expression and decency.”  

Look at me! Everybody look at me! Please, give me attention! Is this what McNuttypants really wants? 

“All Mr. Stevens is trying to do is draw attention to himself…The city of Fort Lauderdale tries to maintain a family-friendly environment. We’re not the stage for personal excesses,” the mayor continued. 

Robert Walsh, a Fort Lauderdale activist, says he hopes the city tells Stevens no. “Let him sue us,” Walsh said. “It’s beyond vulgar. It’s not art. Children are going to see that. It’s just not appropriate for Las Olas. He’s just doing this for his own narcissistic tendencies, so everyone is looking at Chaz again,” noted the article. 

Deerfield Beach has denied Steven’s request, citing concern for children and drivers who might be distracted by such a display at the busy corner of U.S. 1 and Hillsboro Boulevard. 

“Pally, Shinto is the national religion of Japan. You’ll be hearing from our attorney,” declared Stevens. 

What ambulance-chasing attorney would take such a ridiculous case? Stevens has only raised $320.  

“His attorney, Tom Wright, says he plans to send a more formal response next week.” 

How American – both men can lounge around the pool while sipping cocktails and mocking hard-working citizens that value children and community. They must be so proud of themselves.  

So, McNuttypants wants to waste taxpayer money on a frivolous lawsuit. How is he going to prove he engages in a Japanese religion? He’s a self-proclaimed atheist – that’s illogical. 

As noted in the article, Steven’s stopped prayer at local government meetings from Dania Beach to Deerfield Beach by “asking to say his own satanic prayer” to kick off meetings. And seven years ago, he got permission to install a large upside-down cross outside Hallandale Beach City Hall after the city used taxpayer dollars to put up Christmas and menorah displays. 

Instead of helping humanity, it appears that Stevens delights in causing distress to elected officials, taxpaying residents, and parents that want to protect kids from public obscenity. 

I’ll bet his own community is so proud of him.  

“Stevens is an atheist.” According to Wikipedia, he travels the country for the removal of religious displays on government property.  

There ya have it. Stevens hates God. Oh, he doesn’t believe in God. Maybe he detests Christians and uses his profane antics as a way to disguise his feelings. Or perhaps he just hates dignity, respectability, and integrity.   

Yikes, this guy needs serious prayer.  

“Activist on Quest to Erect Huge Penis Sculpture in Florida,” is how the rabid rag, The Daily Beast captioned the article.

Really? Calling Stevens an activist is a colossal stretch. His stupid antic is akin to a hypersexual frat boy prank. Ahem. What age is Stevens again? He’s 58 – old enough to know better. 

Hmmm. This might be an event for the Proud Boys of Florida to attend. Perhaps, fathers, grandfathers, uncles, and other men will protest. 

Oh, if that happens the cowardly ninjas won’t be far behind. That will make the meme of the century – ninjas in masks guarding a 6-foot pink phallic symbol. The clowns in black will be the butt of a bazillion jokes.  

What can you do? Gather your family, friends, neighbors and attend a city council meeting to voice your concerns about obscenity in a public place. Contact the State Attorney General and law enforcement about obscenity laws in Florida and your city. Put your concerns on social media platforms. Start an online petition. Write a Letter to the Editor of your local newspaper. Contact your state representatives.  

Contact Gays Against Groomers. “It is going take those of us from within the community to finally put an end to this insanity, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”  

Contact the sensible LGBTQ members in your own community and ask them to speak out on behalf of children and families with you.  

Pastors and church members can organize a peaceful protest with singing and prayer if the obscene object is displayed by city council members that fear being sued. 

What can I do? Volunteer my expert testimony as a retired child therapist with years of experience to any city council or court in Florida as to why sexually abused children diagnosed with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder out for a peaceful stroll on the beach should not be exposed to a 6-foot penis. And that goes for adult victims of rape that may be triggered and may experience a trauma reaction to a giant phallic symbol. 

Furthermore, I can recommend a psychological evaluation for Stevens. 

Comment via Facebook

Corrections: If you are aware of an inaccuracy or would like to report a correction, we would like to know about it. Please consider sending an email to [email protected] and cite any sources if available. Thank you. (Policy)