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Op-Ed: Enjoy A Tall Glass Of Cockroach “Milk” With Your Cookies – A Climate Crisis Zealot’s Dream

File photo: IrinaK, Shutter Stock, licensed.
The current trend is a future plan to replace dairy milk with cockroach secretion.    File photo: IrinaK, Shutter Stock, licensed.

PORTSMOUTH, OH – The climate crisis fanatics of insect mania and madness want to replace animal foods with plants and bugs. And the current trend is a future plan to replace dairy milk with cockroach secretion.   

The recent internet media blitz is glorifying cockroach “milk.” Of course, it’s not milk in the traditional sense of the white liquid that comes from dairy cows. It’s bug secretion.   

But wait. According to a 2018 article in USA Today, Barbara Stay, an Emeritus Professor of Biology at the University of Iowa, believes she is the first person to milk a pregnant cockroach. Nonetheless, Stay declines to taste the bug fluid.

The standard cockroach is associated with disease and scurries away when the light clicks on in the middle of the night – gross, nasty, disgusting.  

A 2020 article in Environment Health Insights examined cockroaches and food-borne pathogens. “Although there exist about 4000 species of cockroaches, only 30 are associated with human habitations…About a quarter of the microorganisms isolated from cockroaches are food-borne pathogens including Escherichia coli O157:H7, Staphylococcus aureus, Bacillus cereus, Shigella dysenteriae, Salmonella enterica subsp. enterica serovar Typhi, Rotavirus, Aspergillus fumigatus, and Cryptosporidium parvum. Thus, cockroaches could be an important reservoir and mechanical vector of food-borne pathogens.”

However, the “milking” roach is not your run-of-the-mill cockroach. Heck no – this is the female Pacific beetle cockroach (otherwise known as Diploptera punctata). It gives birth to live bugs while other cockroach species lay eggs instead. Who knew?  

How many of these distinct pregnant cockroaches does it take to fill a glass with insect juice? Lots. And you have to travel to the tropical forests of the Polynesian islands to find them. 

A 2016 article at NPR reported a story about a team of researchers led by biochemist Subramanian Ramaswamy at the Institute for Stem Cell Biology and Regenerative Medicine in Bangalore, India. They are researching the nutritional value of Pacific beetle cockroach secretion.

A WCCO – CBS Minnesota reporter, who appeared grossed out, highlighted a brief story on “insect dairy,” a new term for cockroach secretion.

The war on dairy is front and center, along with the war on beef. 

Remember the TV commercial, “Milk, it does a body good” with celebrities wearing milk mustaches? Remember the “Got milk” slogan. Remember the white box with black cow spots on the Dell packaging of computers?  

Hark! Airabelle, the 120-foot iconic hot air balloon cow is back. Creamland™ Dairy, a Dairy Farmers of America member in New Mexico, uses the smiling cow as a mascot.

“Dairy production contributes less than 2% of all U.S. greenhouse gas emissions – and that number continues to shrink, thanks to wider adoption of sustainable farming practices.” Read more articles from the Dairy Farmers of America on their website.

Consumers can purchase cow, goat, almond, soy, cashew, hemp, rice, and coconut milk at grocery stores. But as of yet, cockroach “milk” cannot be found on the shelves. More scientific research is needed on whether cockroach secretion is safe for human consumption.  

And cockroach juice is nothing more than a bad foody fad story – a sensational news headline of political propaganda brought to you by carbon emissions fear-mongers from the climate environmental cultists. Show me the scientific study results.  

Folks, even though I’m lactose intolerant, I’ll pass on a splash of cockroach secretion in my morning coffee.  

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